And Babies Make Six

I can’t believe it’s been over a week since the babies arrived.  Sometimes I feel like it was a long time ago; other days I feel like it was just yesterday that the babies were on their way.  Either way you look at it, I am overjoyed that Evan and Connor arrived safely and Sarah and Ryan are living their dream of being parents.  I recently got an email from a friend who is now in the process of adopting a baby boy.  The baby was born a few days before Evan and Connor, at just 28 weeks old.  Although this baby is proving himself to be quite a fighter, he has already faced many struggles at such a young age.  Seeing the pictures of him in the NICU and reading my friend’s words and hearing her sadness that she could not even hold him yet, made me feel even more appreciative that Evan and Connor were born when they were.

I will be the first to admit that this journey was harder than I ever expected.  There were physical limitations that I didn’t expect, a level of discomfort that I had never experienced with my other pregnancies, and emotional stress placed upon our family that I feel lucky we survived!  But I have no regrets – in fact, I gained more than I ever thought I would, coming out of this journey.  I feel so extremely blessed to have been part of the process in helping Sarah and Ryan become parents.  Our family learned so much about the act of giving, and doing this giving out of love and friendship.  This was evident throughout the process, from the very beginning when Scott and I first made the offer to Ryan and Sarah, to the very end, when they were driving down to Athens a couple times a week for doctor’s appointments but also to help us with Josie and Riley, bring us Thanksgiving dinner, and doing anything they could to make sure I was as comfortable as possible (Ryan even drove down one night after work to bring me a recliner chair to borrow when I had pulled the muscle in my back, only to turn right around and drive back home).  I feel proud of the example that Scott and I were able to provide our children.  We’ve had many people remark that Josie and Riley got to witness their parents doing an incredible act of love and kindness.  That definitely makes me feel good.  Scott and I learned how to support and rely on each other in totally new ways and at higher levels.  We learned better not to take the other person for granted because we soon realized how much we really needed the other person at this time in our lives (okay, I definitely needed Scott more than he needed me, because near the end, I was doing nothing more than sitting around like a bump on a log – and much does anyone really need that?!)  And as grateful as I was to have two wonderful children, I felt this even more so as I watched Sarah so graciously give up control over her two precious babies and place trust in another person to take care of them for her until she could.

Now onto the birth story…

I began feeling contractions Monday (December 1) in the evening, around 7:30 p.m. I had stopped taking the terbutaline pills per my doctor’s orders the night before, so this was the first time I had had several contractions and didn’t just pop the pill into my mouth.  I began tracking them on my early labor record sheet, but they were still pretty inconsistent in terms of frequency.  There would be several right in a row but then a twenty minute break between the next two.  I tried lots of different positions (walking around, lying down on my side, standing up, sitting) to see if that influenced the contractions, but they still continued, albeit inconsistently.

We put the kids to bed like usual and I continued tracking for another two hours.  I definitely wondered if this was the real thing, but Scott suggested that since it was also the first time I hadn’t been able to take the terbutaline, maybe it would just take longer for the contractions to subside.  For the next three hours, I did silly little things around the house, I surfed the Internet, I wrapped books I had gotten for the babies.  The contractions were not getting more intense, nor were they falling into any sort of consistent pattern.  I considered calling Ryan and Sarah but Scott pointed out that since I wasn’t planning on calling the doctor, I really didn’t have any information and would just keep them awake wondering as well.  The doctor had told me to call when the contractions were 5-6 minutes apart for 1- 2 hours, and they definitely weren’t at that point yet.  Finally at 11:30 I went to bed, figuring if this was the start of labor, I should probably get some rest!  I didn’t think I would be able to fall asleep but I did.  I had been sleeping for a while, but kind of going in and out of sleep, because I was still feeling the contractions.  Finally I woke up fully and tiredly thought, I guess I’d better turn the light on and start timing these again.  When I turned the light on, I thought *maybe* I was feeling something that indicated my water had broken.  But I didn’t really think it had, because my water had never broken before.  I grabbed my phone and started walking to the bathroom and then definitely knew I was feeling something – more intense contractions and also wetness.  I poked my head in the living room (where Scott was sleeping), turned the light on, and when Scott sat up, I blurted out, “I think my water might have broken!”  I went into the bathroom and it was very obvious that it had.  Everything felt very surreal at that point.  It was now 2:35 a.m. and I immediately called Ryan.  I hadn’t called the doctor yet but by then, I knew I was in labor and I wanted to make sure Ryan and Sarah got on the road as soon as possible.  Next I called the answering service.  As I waited for the doctor to call me back, I changed my clothes and made sure I had everything I needed in my hospital bag.  As I thought, the doctor told me to go to the hospital.  Scott, in the meantime, had called his mom who knew she was on-call to come down to Athens when I was in labor so she could watch the kids.  Next he began phoning the people on our list to stay with Josie and Riley until his mom had arrived.  But none of the people we had on our list were answering their phones!  We both got on our phones and were leaving message after message on cell phones and home phones but couldn’t get ahold of anybody.  Scott even went to our neighbor’s house and knocked on their door but still we got no answer.  It was now 3 in the morning and we knew I had to get to the hospital as soon as possible – our choices were 1) I could drive myself (which Scott didn’t want me to do), 2) we could call an ambulance (didn’t seem necessary), or 3) we could leave the kids alone (not really an option).  None of the choices seemed like good ones.  Finally I called my boss – although she was not on our list and I hadn’t talked to her about helping in this situation, she has always told us she would help us in any way she could.  I apologized for waking her up and told her the situation and of course, she said she would be right over as soon as she got dressed.  As I was giving her directions to our house, our neighbor called back on Scott’s phone.  I thanked my boss and again apologized for waking her up, and told her we had finally gotten ahold of our neighbor who would stay with the kids until Marie (Scott’s mom) arrived.
 
We arrived to the hospital around 3:30 in the morning and went straight up to Labor and Delivery.  We met our nurse, Andy, who was very nice.  She determined that my water had indeed broken and set about hooking me up to the monitors (one for each baby plus one for the contractions) and the IV.  She also checked my cervix which was about 4 cm and said she could feel the first baby’s head (yay – that meant a pretty good shot at avoiding the C-section!).   A resident doctor came in to do a quick ultrasound and also confirmed both babies were head down.  I’m not sure what time Ryan and Sarah arrived (it couldn’t have been much earlier than 4:00 a.m., unless Ryan was speeding big-time on their way down, which I guess is a possibility!) but I didn’t feel like we had been at the hospital for too long before they got there.  We learned that the doctor on call was Dr. C., our second choice in terms of doctors (it was good that he was on-call, since he is one of the two doctors in my practice trained in breech deliveries).  Dr. B (our favorite) was the doctor to do rounds at 7 am, but the nurse said she had several surgeries to do in the morning.  So we disappointedly figured we would not have her at our delivery.  Scott got everything set up in the room for us, including setting out our good luck ladybug charm (that Sarah and I had each carried with us, especially during the time of the embryo transfer) and playing Evan and Connor’s CD that Sarah and Ryan had compiled.  A couple of resident doctors came in to see me as well as Dr. C. (who looked like he had definitely just gotten out of bed).  The contractions were beginning to get more intense but still not too bad; the worst part about them was the back pain.  They still felt fairly far apart from each other in my mind although the monitor showed they were happening every couple of minutes.  My head began to itch like crazy.  Scott went to find the doctor who came back and said it not an unusual reaction to the Vancomycin (the antibiotic for the Group B strep) and that hopefully the itching would go away (which it eventually did).  I got checked again and was 6 cm.  The nurse made the arrangements for the anesthesiologist to come to give me the epidural.  (Although I had initially intended on birthing without pain medication, at my last appointment the doctors at my practice had all recommended to get an epidural for a twin delivery.  They suggested it would be a much better situation in case an emergency C-section was needed and would also allow the doctors to deliver breech if necessary without worrying about causing me pain and discomfort.  I had said all along that I would do whatever the doctors recommended throughout the pregnancy and this was no exception.)  The head resident doctor came and said that it would be her and Dr. C. who would be delivering.   Scott asked her if there was any way she could let Dr. B. know that we were in labor because we had had such a close relationship with her and really wanted her there for the birth.  The resident doctor seemed hesitant and didn’t really give a straight answer as to whether or not she would attempt to reach Dr. B.  After the resident doctor left the room, Andy (our nurse) explained that resident doctors try to be very careful because they don’t want to step on any doctor’s toes (in this case, Dr. C.).  Scott explained to Andy why it was so important that Dr. B. knew we were in labor and Andy was so great, she said she would call Dr. B. at home herself.  It was now about 6 am.  Andy got on the phone and a minute later told us that Dr. B. was “tickled” that she had called and so happy to learn we were there – and she was on her way!  We were so glad to hear that.  The anesthesiologist came in to give me the epidural and so everyone besides the nurse had to leave the room.  I was really, really nervous during the administration of the epidural but it ended up being okay.  I didn’t like the pressure I felt when the catheter was being inserted into my back, but other than that, it was more nerve wracking than anything else.  And boy was it a different experience not to be able to feel the contractions!  Dr. B. arrived around 6:30 am.  I was so happy to see her walk into the room, I almost started crying.  We asked to have a picture taken with her and by then, I was fully dilated and we got ready to move into the operating room. 

In the operating room, we were surrounded by people – it seemed like everyone was in there except for Ryan and Sarah whom I guess had gotten asked to wait outside the OR doors.  I got moved onto the operating table which was not nearly wide enough to accommodate a person pregnant with twins!  Andy and Scott were by my side and I got into position.  I kept asking when Sarah and Ryan were going to be let in – I was so worried that someone had not realized they were supposed to be in there too and that they were going to be left out.  But Dr. B. assured me that they would not miss the birth.  After a few minutes (I think) Ryan and Sarah did enter the room and I was getting ready to push.  It was very bizarre for me to be birthing because I could not feel my contractions at all and thus did not know when to push.  With both of my other labors, I was doing the leading in terms of telling the nurse when I needed to push.  This time, the nurse had to tell me when I was contracting and needed to push, and thus it didn’t feel natural at all.  It also felt really weird because I couldn’t even tell if I was making any progress or not.  Scott, Andy, and Dr. B.  were all coaching me and cheering me on and although I knew I was working hard, I couldn’t tell if anything was happening.  It was definitely great that I wasn’t feeling any pain (as I did with Josie and Riley), but at the same time, it was discouraging because I didn’t know if I was making progress.  I think I only had to push about 10 minutes or so and then Dr. B. told me she could see the head!  I was so glad to hear something was happening.  I gave a couple more pushes and then I did feel the baby slip out.  I only got to see him for a second before he was taken over to the isolette where the pediatrician was waiting for him.  I could hear him crying and Scott was looking over to tell me what the doctors were a doing and how Ryan and Sarah were.  Someone called out the time – 7:05 am.  The doctor did a quick ultrasound and the second baby was still head down.  I didn’t get to think about the first baby any more because I had to focus on getting the second baby out.  I was a little tired but Andy kept coaching me on when to push.  Again, it didn’t feel like anything was happening and I was so scared the doctors were going to declare I needed a C-section..  (Because I already was in the operating room, I felt worried that the doctors would be more likely to jump to that if things weren’t going exactly right, since it would be so simple just to do a C-section.)  I asked Dr. B. if it was okay that it was taking this long for the second baby to come out and she assured me I was doing fine.  But after a few more minutes of pushing, I did hear someone say that the baby needed to come out soon.  Dr. B. got a vacuum to help.  Again, I kept pushing as Andy told me to..  All of a sudden, I felt someone (I later asked who it was and it had been Dr. C.) come up from behind me and start literally pushing (almost punching) down on my stomach.  I was very surprised and I blew out the breath that I had been holding during the push.  The person kept doing it to me as I was pushing.  Finally, the second baby came out at 7:18.  (It was only 13 minutes later but it felt like it had been a lot longer in between.) I tried to sit up to see him but didn’t really get a chance to.  I asked if the babies were okay and everyone told me they were.  The babies were taken out of the OR and Ryan and Sarah followed them as I finished up in the room.

I soon left the OR and got taken to my recovery room.  I was freezing cold and was shivering.  I suddenly felt sick and asked Scott to get me a pan. I paged the nurse too but by the time Scott and the nurse got back to my room, I had already gotten sick. Dr. B. walked in then and quickly brought over the trash can.  She said my body had gone through so much and was just adjusting.  I immediately felt better. 

I was tired that day but felt remarkably well.  I was in a lot less pain than after giving birth to Josie and Riley.  I did have some cramping but nothing unbearable.  We all had lots of visitors that day.  Scott called Josie and Riley to tell them the babies had arrived and that they would get to come visit in the afternoon.  Josie was NOT happy about that – she wanted to see the babies and me *right then*.  Scott told her no one was getting to see the babies at that moment and that they needed to rest until the afternoon.  I took a short nap and then visited with people.  I got to hold the babies.  When the kids came to visit, they were very excited about the presents they had brought for the babies and they also took turns holding the babies.  Scott gave Connor a bottle.  I think Scott felt closer to the babies than he realized he would. 

Scott came back to the hospital in the morning to take me home.  We went to Sarah and Ryan’s room (next door to mine) to take some pictures before we left.  I held the babies again and I did feel a little sad when I was saying goodbye to them.  It just felt weird, being with them for so long and then in one day’s time, meeting them and then leaving them.  I was so happy though to see Sarah and Ryan with their babies.  It was such a wonderful feeling to see two new parents snuggling up to their little ones, holding them close, and knowing that my family and I had helped make that happen.  Now that the babies are home with their parents, I am enjoying my time off and spending time with my own family.  It feels so good to be able to move around, cook dinner, get down on the floor and play with my kids.  I will always remember these last nine months as an amazing experience that not everyone is lucky enough to have.  I am grateful to Sarah and Ryan for allowing me to have such an important part in creating their family.  And I will always hold a special place in my heart for those two little guys, Evan and Connor.