Explaining Surrogacy To Your Boss July 3, 2008
Posted by andbabymakesfive in Sarah Worries Too Much, Surrogacy.Tags: Maternity Leave
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We’re getting to the point where Ryan and I have decided that we need to start telling our employers about the babies. Ryan already talked to his HR department and inquired about paternity leave, but I keep putting it off. I’ll wait until the first trimester is over. I’ll wait until Monday. I’ll wait until after the next ultrasound. I’ll wait until we know the genders. I’ll wait until the babies are born. I don’t know if all women are nervous about telling their employers, but I am.
I have to explain why a) I’m going to have twins soon, but b) I’m not getting any bigger (well, at least I think I’m not getting any bigger… and please don’t tell me otherwise!). That could be a fairly awkward conversation to have with my boss, who is a man in his 60s and possibly has never even heard of surrogacy. And do I really want to talk about my missing uterus with my boss? Yuck. He doesn’t need to have that kind of information about my body. Maybe I’ll just say that I have a “medical condition that does not allow me to carry a baby.”
Also, I have no idea what’s going to happen when I bring up maternity leave. My office does maternity leave through “short-term disability,” which means that recovering from the pregnancy is what warrants time off, not caring for the newborns. Since I will not be pregnant, and therefore not “disabled,” I’m not sure what they will offer me in terms of time off.
FMLA (Family & Medical Leave Act) does not apply to my office, because we only have about 30 employees (FMLA applies to companies of 50 or more), so theoretically, my company is not required to give me ANY time off, and they certainly don’t have to give me any PAID time off (although that would be extremely helpful). But I work with really nice people, and I’m very hopeful that they’ll work with me to find a good solution for my maternity leave.
So… I think I’m going to have this conversation next week. Maybe Tuesday or Wednesday. Or maybe the week after next. Or after the end of the second trimester… just kidding! I’ll let you know how it goes.
Happy 4th of July, everybody! And happy 15 weeks, babies! See you soon!
60 year old men tend to be really understanding. Ma
ybe he has a daughter, and so will sympathize better. that probably would help.I know it is scary, though! I love reading your blog, it’s so exciting to get to feel like we’re going through this with you.
Hello Miss Maria! Thank you for the encouraging words!